In a powerful statement
against a dangerous trend
in American politics, Donald J. Trump
today said that we should have
running our country, apparently
referencing the Bush and Clinton families.
Anonymous sources inside
the campaign told CNN's Dana Bash
this statement was crafted
after several days of discussion
with Ivanka, Donald Jr., Eric, and little Barron.
Tiffany Trump Face-Timed in for several minutes
from South Beach Miami to ask why
the Trumps couldn't be the new dynasty
like the Kardashians, and was overruled
by eldest daughter, Ivanka, before her iPhone
apparently was dropped displaying only blue sky—
loud dance music was the only sound.
Melania and Ivana both were responsible
for more moderate statements than the
candidate preferred, which called for,
we are told, the arrest of George W. Bush
for Crimes Against the Billionaire Class, this
in an apparently confused attempt
to reach out to Sanders voters.
A Northeast Louisiana source said Duck Dynasty
members of the Robertson family were asked
to change their name while campaigning.
From now on they will be known
as The Partridge Family at political events.
Tiffany Trump's mother, Marla Maples,
is still missing.